I recently was blessed enough to get a true girl’s night out with my best friend. We went to a bar…gasp!, sat there, had drinks and did not worry about feeding a little mouth or if a tiny hand was going to grab our drinks for an entire night! We talked about work and current events. We had girl talk, which we can never do when our husbands are at the table. I felt like myself and it was great. I was shocked at how relaxed and rejuvenated I felt when I got home.
This got me thinking…girl’s night out is still really important, possibly more important than before kids.
When I was childless and working full time I would go out for drinks with the girls after work and I looked forward to those days tremendously. I loved just hanging out and gossiping. Now, I think going out helps remind me that I am not just mommy or wife but also still me. I am still the girl who loves to dance to music, besides Disney songs. I am still the girl who wants men to find her attractive, even if the only man for me is at home watching Care Bears with our daughter. That makes him so much more sexy, right?! I LOVE food and wine and you forget the dining experience when you are reminding little ones to be quiet and making sure little hands stay to themselves. When you are a domestic goddess you sometimes forget that conversations can happen about news and politics not just about blocks and Mickey Mouse.
I understand that some circumstances do not allow for a girl’s night out. This was the case with a friend of mine so we changed the rules. There are four families all with children within 3 years of each other on my block. We decided to start a new tradition…we are having girls night in. We rotate houses and bring a bottle of wine and/or something to eat, just for us. We get together, with our kids, and spend time letting them tire each other out. Even this will help us reconnect to our inner selves.
I say every woman should take the time this month and force a girls night. Whether it is in or out it doesn’t matter. Reconnect not just with your friends but also with yourself. Go to a bar, a club, a restaurant where the tablecloths are clothe, a paint your own pottery place, even a movie, but in which nothing is animated! If you have to stay in, make sure at least 50% of your conversation is not child related! Talk to your friends about anything but your kids really. It is a real challenge, we were not 100% successful but we still tried. It is so important to remember the woman you are and why you are you. You are so much more than just mommy.
I know this post isn’t super informative or anything but it is something that I think most women need to be reminded of once in a while. We get so consumed with the many hats we have to wear that we often lose site of the first one we ever wore, just being us.
The Perfectionist Mom