Take one good long look at yourself in the mirror. Really do it.
If you had a title attached to you as I do writing for this blog, do you know what it would be? I never thought mine would be a perfectionist. At first, I fought against it and had to break it down in my head before finally stating holy crap; I am the perfectionist. Not in the traditional sense that everything I do is sooo perfect. No, rather in the sense that I try so hard every day to make my life appear so perfect to everyone else that they know no different.
It is midnight right now. I have had a budding migraine all day; really for the last week. Those of you who get migraines will understand, you can sense them coming. So, did I sit back and take it easy today? No of course not; there were places to be and things to do.
I went and bought gifts for the two birthday parties we have this weekend. Then we went to one of said birthday parties where there was this little girl. She has one of those noise makers you use on New Year’s Eve the kind that when you blow into them the unravel and make a honking noise. She did it over and over and over and over. I wanted to rip it out of her mouth and throw it out of the window! That only made my headache so much stronger.
Then my dear husband who can drive me nuts, decided even though I have told him “Do not eat the cake there are almonds in it! Those are marzipan decorations don’t do it!” (he is highly allergic to almonds). He eats a big freaking piece anyway. Only to find out it has an almond filling as well! So we politely excuse ourselves, as his throat is quickly closing, run home as fast as possible and pump him full of Benedryl. Thank god his throat was only half closed at this point. He proceeds to fall fast asleep on the couch. I make a small dinner and feed our little girl, bathe her, and put her to bed.
Then as I am ready to collapse into bed at 8 pm, again so I don’t wake up with a migraine, he says “Oh honey please can we finish Dexter.” Okay my dear husband, because I love you we can finish our show. He says, “Don’t do the dishes while we watch, we can do them in the morning.” We finish and I again am ready for bed, this time, teeth brushed and all.
Then he says well I would really like to FaceTime with my folks in the morning. I know what that means…I am going to have to get up at the ass-crack of dawn to clean the kitchen and living room because the house has to be clean when we call them, it is not an option.
If I can actually get some sleep with this headache I don’t want to get up early on purpose and clean. Sunday is the one day I sometimes get a break! God knows why my daughter tends to sleep in!
So I got my ass out of bed, and we proceeded to have a massive fight, while I’m cleaning the house at 11 o’clock. I tell him that the cleaning has to be my job! I don’t pull in a steady paycheck!! Why do I feel like he can’t help clean, you may ask? If you read my bio that’s the stubborn, no asking for help thing. Oh, I dig in even further if help is offered or pushed upon me, just take my daughters first birthday. But I digress. That is another post for another night.
We end the fight with me so amped up I’m sitting here at 12:30am writing this while he is fast asleep with all of the lights on in our bedroom. I swear that man could sleep through a hurricane. All so that our life would have the appearance of perfection. To our friends and our families and so on and so forth. Let’s just pray I can stave off that migraine for the next week while trying for perfection on the road with my daughter and mom.
Oh, yea fun stories a coming.
Kristin – The Perfectionist Mom
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