Ladies, I have never been a jealous person. Hell, I am still friends with my ex husband! However, when it comes to my husband’s ex wife my skin crawls!
I feel like she purposely tries to make my husband do things that are just ridiculous, and completely out of line. My husband is the kind of guy that will do ANYTHING for his kids. He has proved that. We still drive 70% of the way to pick my step daughter up (this is an hour drive each way) EVERY Friday & Sunday. In fact, we have driven all the way out there several times. His ex has driven to our house once and it was because she was passing by to go to the beach.
The reason I am writing about this is, it is causing problems in my relationship. Not like “divorce” problems, but it causes unnecessary fights between my husband and I. He thinks that I have issues with doing things for my step daughter. It’s not that at all.
Her mother calls and tells us that we have to do this, or that. She makes appointments when my step daughter is here. The most recent being the dentist. For us to take my step daughter for her 6 month dental check up, it means 3-4 hours in the car. Don’t get me wrong, I think the dentist is important. But why not make an appointment when she has her? (the appointment she made is the day before she goes back to her house from her 5 week stay with us).
She never offers to meet closer to our house. In fact, she usually wants us to drive all the way when she makes changes to the schedule. I hate to sound like driving is such an “issue”, but those of you that have babies can understand how terrible it is to drag a baby through rush hour traffic for 3 hours…. IT SUCKS!!!
I picked up my step daughter last week, took her to the doctor, brought her home & kept her with me (and my 1 ½ year old) for 2 days while having to work. We are keeping her for 5 weeks this summer. I have arranged 2 week long summer camps for her. All while taking care of my daughter and WORKING!!! Do you think I have gotten a “thank you” once for the many things I do for my step daughter from her mother? NO, and I do not expect one. I am not one to “keep score”, but when I am told that I am upset because we have to do something for my step daughter, it hurts!
I have finally started making my husband stand up for himself. We have done everything his ex has asked, but on our terms! The days of disrupting his life are over, because it now disrupts mine! My step daughter will NEVER go without, and we will continue to do whatever it is that she needs, within reason! I will keep you posted!
Scrambling Step Mom
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