I did not want to be a statistic. I did not want to be cut open. Basically, I did NOT want to have a C-section. But I did. From the beginning, I wanted to deliver my baby like women are made to do. I was not against an epidural, though. After months of debating on pain medication, I told my husband I would try my hardest to do it naturally, but that I would not hesitate to ask for pain medication if I felt like I could not handle it. My mother had me au-natural weighing in at 9lb 6oz and at least 20 inches long. My MIL had my husband au-natural weighing in at 10lb 12oz and at least 20 inches long. I figured that if they could, so could I.
By the time I was 6 months pregnant, everyone could tell that I was going to have a large baby. Some people even suggested that I just go ahead and ask for a C-section. No. I didn’t even want to be induced unless it was ABSOLUTELY necessary. I did not want Pitocin, why put stress on my unborn child. Hopefully, I would go into labor naturally, head to the hospital and have my baby like I was made to do. All my bags packed and ready to go by the time I was 35 weeks pregnant. We knew what route we were going to take, we knew how long it was going to take with and without traffic. It was all ready to go…just waiting on the baby.
I was just shy of 40 weeks pregnant when I saw my doctor for what I had hoped to be my last check up before going into labor. After he measured my belly and listened to the heartbeat, he did the usual pelvic exam to check my “stats”.
Just my luck, I am full term and have absolutely NO signs of labor. I had not dilated AT ALL and there was NO thinning in my cervix. Yes, I know that can change in a matter of hours but, he also informed me at this appointment that my baby was quite large, and he was not comfortable with me carrying the baby much longer. From the start, the doctor had told me I had a “small pelvis” and was unsure as the weeks passed if I would be able to deliver her naturally. He scheduled me for induction on my due date, a few days later.
So….we go to the hospital. We have everything we need to last us a month. I packed so much! I didn’t know what to expect, so I just took whatever I felt I could possibly need.
Because there were no physical signs of labor, they did not want to use Pitocin due to the risk of putting stress on the baby, so he opted for this little pill that the nurse inserts into the cervix. I have no recollection of what that was called. As time passes, they check for changes and nothing. It actually seemed as if my unborn child had pulled up and away from the birth canal because they had the hardest time checking and hurt me every time they tried. I only got one dose. They informed me that the contractions I had been having for months now, were too often to safely even give me another dose of the medication! I was in shock. I didn’t know what to think!
Night was nearing and I was so emotional. They said I could choose to go home, or choose to stay and have a low-dose Pitocin drip added to my IV overnight. After a flood of tears and sobbing, I made my husband go get the head nurse. I wanted to go home. As emotional as I was, the best part was the head nurse telling me she was proud of me, and that she thought that was the right decision. Give it a few more days and see what happens.
Three days later I had an afternoon appointment with my doctor, but I insisted my husband take me first thing in the morning. The awesome receptionist I had been seeing for 9 months got me in to see him ASAP. Once again, no change. No signs of labor. Nothing. By this time, I was as big around as a house, my family was leaving the next day and my doctor didn’t want me to carry her any longer for fear of harm to her. The receptionist scheduled my surgery for that night. It was time. I was 3 days past due by the doctor’s calendar but MY calculations had me a week past due at this point.
We both cried on the way to the hospital. This is not what we wanted. We were scared, we were mad, we didn’t know what to expect. We had to wait for a few emergency surgeries before they took me back to get prepped. Seems like it took no time to get prepped, epidural and wheeled into the surgery room. It was this huge, bright white room. It was scary and all I could think of is “where is my husband?!?” A few seconds later, he was by my side. Within a few minutes, I had a beautiful 10lb 1oz baby girl in my arms. Perfectly healthy, huge and not even crying. She let out one whimper and was then content.
After being put back together and wheeled to recovery to be with my new baby and my husband, I was told by the nurses and the anesthesiologist that it was a good thing I had surgery. I looked at them sideways. Then they told me that the umbilical cord was wrapped around her neck, and if I had tried to push her out, seeing as how big she was, it could have ended up much worse than a C-section.
I guess everything happens for a reason. My big beautiful baby girl is here with us today because Mother Nature decided to take a different road for me, and I am grateful for that. I can tell you if I ever have another child, I still plan on a natural delivery, but I also know that everything happens for a reason and if I am again unable, I will know that it is for the best. I have a new doctor that will let me try even after having a C-section. He also told me that because of the size of my child, she probably never was able to drop low enough to begin labor for me.
And that, folks, is my story.
Brandy, The Not-So-Single Mom
Post originally published on 8/15/2014
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