Life is a constant turning wheel. It is ever changing and not always easy. When I decided to take on the role of The Perfectionist on MOMentous Moms I was aware that I would be opening my world to new and unknown people each and every week. I kept thinking that as long as I am reaching one person and my tales from this side of motherhood make an impact than all of the effort is more than worth it.
One of the hardest things that I have shared during this time has been our struggle to complete our family. We had a difficult time the first time. Struggling with failed IVF and surgeries and nerves that it would never happen for us. Then it did and we have the amazing crazy little girl that you have come to know as our buggy. Then we decided to try fate again and fight for number two. We tried gadgets, pills, medications, surgery (again, I know!), altered diets and pretty much anything and everything I could find on the internet. We have had losses, defeats, and gained a lot more perspective than we would have ever hope to have.
With all that we have been through and shared with you and will continue to share with you (in other words more infertility posts to come) we have seen the light at the end of our tunnel. We in the small percentage of lucky people who even after the doctors tell you time and time again “Be prepared, it’s not going to happen for you.”, it does. That’s right, after all of the struggling, wondering, sleepless nights, battles, tears and hopeless thoughts, I am able to sit here and say to you we got lucky…again!
We are pregnant!
This is not to say that this pregnancy has been easy. In fact for the first 12 weeks I lived in terror. I was sure that something would go wrong and we would be right back where we started. I cut myself off from family and friends, social media and you my readers.
Finally I decided to speak with someone about my fears because they were consuming me. I was told that this is totally normal especially if you have suffered a loss in the past. Told to embrace my feelings and not be angry at myself for having them, they are totally legit. But also that I have to try to trust my body. Put my faith in god and know that this pregnancy is strong. It has been the most difficult internal journeys I have ever taken.
I am 15 weeks along and finally comfortable admitting to not just myself but to the world that we are going to be parents again. Buggy is going to be a big sister and we are going to hopefully be able to complete our family. Not to say it wouldn’t have been complete without a second child but we never saw ourselves as a one child family.
It has been a semi-eventful pregnancy so far. I continue to suffer with hyperemesis gravidarum, which is extreme morning, no make that all day sickness, but thankfully it is on the downswing. I will share those adventures with you in the upcoming weeks. We are now into our second trimester and things are looking up; boosts in energy, less sickness, showing a little bit, all the good things.
I am doing exactly as my doctor recommended for now and trying to celebrate the good and trust my body.
This being the launch of Thanksgiving week and the re-launch for MOMentous Moms (now that I can stand to take care of this baby too) there is a TON to be thankful for!!
I hope you have a wonderful, family filled, fun week with massive amounts of amazing foods. Thanks for hanging in there and I cannot wait to share this journey with you!
The Perfectionist Mom
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