The holidays are no longer fast approaching they are here and in full swing. I don’t know about you but I am the kind of person who loves each holiday and what they bring. The scary, fun, candy of Halloween, the food and family of Thanksgiving, and of course the decorations, music, shopping, giving, celebrating and love of Christmas. Last year I was a crazy person. It was my daughters first holiday season and I wanted everything to be perfect, and it went really well. Now look at photos and think, “Was I there for that?” “I don’t remember that look on her face”.
With all of the crazy that the holidays bring and with working tirelessly on the blog, writing all the time, running a cake business and helping with my husband’s business I have barely had time to breathe. As the big day of Christmas gets closer my head starts spinning…
I want to get pictures of Buggy building a gingerbread house, doing holiday themed crafts, decorating the tree, making cookies. My plan is to make a ton of cookies (not for work). Sing Christmas songs and watch every holiday special I can get my hands on. I want my daughter to have it all, Rudolph, Frosty, Santa, the 12 days of Christmas, the advent calendar, tons of presents under the tree, I even considered doing the Elf on the Shelf this year! She must experience every little thing that Christmas has to offer right away!!! HAVE I LOST MY MIND!?!
Whoa, take a breath, yes, I have lost my mind. My daughter is 20 months old. She doesn’t get the little nuances of Christmas, she is just starting to get the big picture. She just said Santa for the first time two weeks ago. I have realized that I need to stop and smell the candy canes. She is only this little one year, just one and if I am so busy like last year worrying that everything is perfect I am gonna miss the look on her face when we light up the tree for the first time, or the way she reacts to her first real christmas cookie. I don’t want to miss all of that.
Yes, I can get it all in pictures but isn’t experiencing the real thing, first hand, so much better? I have finally “gotten it”. When going through the photos from last year I did not remember the little things we did very well. I remember taking some of the photos and thinking it wasn’t a great shot. I remember trying to get her to do something over again and that NEVER working.
With that in mind I have decided – I want to be present. I have been so busy documenting these moments in her life that I haven’t been experiencing them first hand. We do SO much more than our folks ever did for us and I remember magical holidays when I was little. It was more of a feeling than an experience. I want Buggy to remember that feeling when she is my age. Back then who had ever heard of Elf on a Shelf! It has become a slightly crazy, joyous insanity BUT we don’t even take the time to experience it first hand. In this generation filled with instant photos, videos, sharing and liking have we started passing through big things like the holidays?In this generation filled with instant photos, videos, sharing and liking have we started passing… Click To Tweet
I want to share a perfect example…this is a horrible photo. I know it’s horrible quality but it is amazing to me.
This is the look on my daughter’s face the first time she saw it snow. Now, we live in Florida so this is not real snow, this is foam, but look at her smile. I got to see this moment first hand because my husband was smart enough to have the camera out this time. Thing is it doesn’t matter that I have this photo. I will never forget this look and the sparkle in her eye, which you cannot see here. It was so spectacular and the squeaky sound she made. I remember that too because instead of trying to focus the camera or make sure I got a good shot, I was experiencing it with her.
Please do not get me wrong this house will have Christmas with all the major trimmings. You will see as I have some great posts planned about the explosion that can be Christmas in our world, but I am toning it down a little this year so she can enjoy it on her level without being overwhelmed. More importantly, I am going to ask someone else to take the pictures and videos while I experience the memories for once. If they don’t and I miss something it’s okay, I might have a small freak out in the moment, but I just need to remind myself that it was a perfect moment in time that was meant to be lived and not simply documented.
The Perfectionist Mom
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