My second child turned one yesterday. I am pretty sure she is our last one so this milestone has brought some heavy emotions along with it. I love this part of our kids childhood. Don’t get me wrong, I can do without the not sleeping, the constant screaming, the getting into everything. But I love watching them grow and learn in that first year. Their lives hold so much promise. I love that everything is still new. Watching my children go through their first year and turn into little people is something I will never forget. It has been a privilege to be their mommy.
Our second daughter is SO different from the first. I mean I know every kids is different, but the two experiences have been on total opposite sides of the spectrum. My first was easy. She grew like a weed, was healthy as a horse, developed ahead of schedule. Not so much the second time around.
Our second girl has been a totally different experience. Everything we tried to make her happy did not work. She didn’t want the swaddle. Didn’t want the pacifier. Really didn’t want to be cuddled by anyone other than mom. We would have to hold her under her little arms and bounce her repeatedly to make her stop crying. That was the only way it worked, cuddles were not an option.
Our second little girl has the worst reflux imaginable, on top of some other challenges. She was constantly in and out of doctors offices, hospitals, specialist, you name it. Having test after test and never fully pinpointing what was wrong. She became strong, not even crying with her shots anymore. Our first baby was never even sick her first year.
Through it all our girl has been able to maintain her smile. She could have so easily gone the other way. Could have just been a grumpy, nasty kid but her light has kept shining. She is funny as all get out. Getting jokes way earlier than our first, she displayed her intelligence. She has the best laugh when you can get it, whether it is being tickled or throwing her in the air the effort is worth the rewarding giggle.
She is feisty. Much more feisty than her sister, who is pretty spicy. She lets you know what she is thinking right away. I love her determination.
We were told not to expect much in her first year. They told us she would probably not be crawling till mid year, next year. Our girl would not have it. She worked like a beast to get moving after her sister. You can tell she hates being left behind. She found a way to follow. Even when it was hard, even when it hurt she did it. I pray this determination follows her throughout her life. Laziness is not in her vocabulary.
I never really worried about our first daughter. I always just kind of knew she would be good. Good in life, friendships, development, kindness, positivity. I worry about our second. Worry that her challenges will make her hard, negative, timid, and that she will develop a shell that does not let people in. I will fight and claw to make sure this does not happen.
My promises to you my love:
I promise as her mommy to be strong when she is weak, determined when she is discouraged, positive when she can only see the negative. I will show her how to love deeply, laugh totally, and show her its okay not to be okay but you need to pick yourself up again. This is something I struggle with often. I don’t want that for her. She needs to know that in life you need to be goofy, silly, wild, adventurous, even when you don’t feel like it. Dancing, singing, simply getting up and moving will make life a little bit easier.
We will be here for her no matter what. We will see her through the upcoming years and beyond. She will never be alone. I promise I will make the best parts of her shine. She is my little noodle butt (long story) and I will forever and always be her mommy.
Kristin – The Perfectionist Mom
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