For as long as I can remember I have taken care of someone else. My two brothers, friends, family and the family my husband and I have created for ourselves. You can describe me in a variety of different ways, but selfish is definitely not one. So, this fall is bringing on new life for me. I have worked hard in the past 10 years since high school to find what was right for me. Personal and private relationships, friends, career choice…. Its all been a journey that has led me to now. Its been exciting, sad, disappointing, hard, lovely, surprising and most of all- worth it. Some days I would LOVE to throw in the towel others I feel like I can conquer the world.
I finally feel like I have come to a point where I am in the final stages of editing. I have achieved goals for myself that seemed so far off, finally they are here.
This new season brings my first baby going to school. It brings resituating family roles so that I can pursue my goals and dreams. It’s welcoming my second baby boy from being a toddler to being a ”real” big boy (attitude/personality/making his own choices). It also brings the new stages my little girl is presenting us with WAY TOO FAST.
We’ve been adjusting into these roles and everyone seems to be doing great, but me. I’m struggling to let go. Let go of the past and welcome the new. Now I get to refocus on me, and to be honest- it’s a tad bit terrifying. Pursuing my dreams means giving up time with my kids, letting my husband be the part-time SAHD. But it also means better opportunities and a better life for myself, my husband and children.
The thing scares me the most is I have completely forgotten how to focus on myself.
Here is to jumping in with both feet!
Xo- The Naturalist Mama
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