Have you ever shopped with three kids. It doesn’t matter what for, a stick of gum requires the patience of the Mother Theresa.
It’s definitely not for the faint of heart. Actually- I need a Xanax just thinking about it. I recently took my children on an adventure to look for cologne at a local department store. I was tired of the cologne my husband wears- ever since my last pregnancy it makes me want to pray to the porcelain gods and coerces the worst migraine imaginable. So we went on an adventure. My four year old wanted to be a “big kid”, my almost/not quite two year old wants to do whatever big brother is doing and the baby is going through the “Mama pick me up or I’m going to give you the lip and make you feel bad” stage. I’m an unfortunate sucker to baby girl and the lip.
Most days I’ve got the boys on lock down, but lately we are all growing and adjusting into new roles. I’m out numbered, and with Daddy working double time this summer, the boys are surely testing their limits.
So I took a deep breath and grabbed the bull by the horns. I held on to baby girl, slapped her on my hip and put the boys in the double stroller. But, department stores aren’t built for that. Either they aren’t built for it or they intentionally make the aisles just tight enough or a hair smaller for Mom’s like me to shop. Store/kids- 1, Natural Mama-0. But I press on. With this comes “Octo-Gate” in which every arm and leg, except my own, is grabbing for sweaters, end cap items, pointing at toys, grabbing makeup from display shelves or purses/scarves- you name it, they grab for it. And then there were little feet dragging in front of the stroller in attempts to escape from my kleptomaniac vehicle. I was done.
I broke out into the biggest hot flash of my young 28 year old life. Quickly, I strapped the boys in and out the door we went.
I felt like a one man NASCAR pit crew. Store/kids -2, Natural Mama -0.
The Naturalist Mom
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