Is this real life?

jenn school

Life is moving forward. Whether or not I am ready for it, I can’t stop time. My baby boy, the one I achieved all my firsts as a mommy with, is achieving a new milestone and heading to VPK. Obviously, its voluntary and only half days. However it will give him opportunities socially and prepare him for the real deal coming next fall. Today was his orientation and I’m and so excited for how much he will grow in the next 8 months. But my heart aches thinking in a blink of an eye he will be in high school, then college, beginning a career and starting a family. I know it seems far off, but the reality is, life happens in a flash. Just yesterday I went into labor on my own, worked my butt off to birth that boy and now this. Daily it seems never ending, but every night, those days seemed to have flown by.

As I write this, I just nursed baby girl. Like always, she melts into my chest, fast asleep after her last feeding until morning. Today, I find I’m snuggling a little extra. Knowing she’s my last baby, it too, is bittersweet.

I’ll never get this back. Not ever. And come Monday at 8:30 am, I’ll more than likely be a bumbling idiot, crying about my independent little man, doing what we have worked so hard for him to do to get to this point. This is the first of our new firsts. First child in school. First day. First everything. He’s my special boy who will always get to experience my firsts as a mommy. He will never understand how happy and proud he has made me or how much he has changed my life.

Reality is, this is real life whether I’m prepared for it or not.

The Naturalist Mom

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