Not my Monkey. Not my Circus.


This year has been all about evaluating relationships for me. Family, friends and professional non-sense are out the window. I’m simply ridding my life of negativity. I’ve sadly had to let go of relationships I saw value in, but were not valued by others. Call it naïve, but I truly strive to have meaningful relationships. Unfortunately that is not for everyone and although my heart wants to jump in feet first, I have to guard it for the sake of happiness and clarity in my life.

Not everyone you interact with in life is meant to stay forever. Lessons are to be learned and from that we are supposed to edit who stays and who goes. Sometimes this happens suddenly. Most times it’s a long time coming, we just dread walking away from it. There are moments where you find soul mates in people you never imagined you would. Soul mates don’t necessarily mean the person you spend the rest of your life with. You find it in someone who truly appreciates and loves you for your heart, disregarding anything on the surface for the person you are inside. Rare, pure, love.

I am blessed to say that I have several of these people in my life. I have also victimized myself, chasing toxic relationships with those that deem people as expendable chess pieces, or flat out fair weather people. So, like I said, editing has been the name of the game for 2014. The past few weeks I have had mini drama-sodes that have directly-indirectly affected my family and me. Meaning, due to someone else’s indirect, careless and poor decisions; my loved ones and myself were directly affected.

Now, this is no pity party. It’s a learning experience. One that has taught me a LONG overdue lesson. Learning to turn my back on the nonsense and focus on my own priorities. You can’t help everyone, even those that make you believe they need it from you. You can’t change people. I have suddenly become SO at peace with that. Thank the Lord. So much peace in letting go of excess baggage, in all aspects.

Release the negative. I promise you it’s so much more fulfilling. And in that moment you find your frustrated and don’t understand what the hell is happening, repeat….

“Not my monkey. Not my circus”. If nothing else you get a good giggle.


Blessings of happiness-

The Naturalist Mama


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  • The Perfectionist Mom

    Reading this post I felt like oh my goodness this is exactly what I need to be doing. We are ramping up to some big things in our lives and getting rid of the negative excess would be a good place to start. Great post!

    • The Naturalist Mama

      Its really makes for a happier Mama. Negative anything only makes it more frustrating on an already, super busy woman. Big things are amazing and I cannot wait to hear about them!!! <3

  • Michelle

    It’s a nice breath of air to have read your post since it’s so relevant to what I’m going through.

    I recently cut ties with a very close friend. We would always call each other and talk about our problems, sometimes solutions but mostly problems. She got angry at me for reconciling with the father of my children after he had an emotional affair. I overshared my problems with my close friend and she became more angry at him than I was. She never forgave him while I did. By calling her to ‘vent’ I was dumping all of this negative waste onto her shoulders and her inability to let it go ultimately killed our friendship.

    We all need to vent our negative feelings and energy somewhere .. just not with our friends. There is a huge conflict of interest that will bite us right in the behind if we’re not careful.

    • The Naturalist Mama

      Unfortunately, I can totally understand. Both sides that is. I do become so emotionally involved with other peoples troublies only because I sincerely care for my friends. I am not a person that collects people just to say I have “friends”…. whether that is family or otherwise. So if I keep you close, I have a love for you and I will fight for you and your cause. BUT, I totally understand your perspective. There does come a time where friends and family have to let their loved ones walk through their own fires. It is how we learn. Finding hobbies, crafting and being blessed to contribute to a blog has helped tremendously with alternative outlets (instead of people). I just grew tired of venting to the wrong people and sometimes the right ones need a break too. PLUS having outlets have helped me clear my mind and re-evauluate how important whatever that issue is for me. Luckily I am home with three kids, so when I talk to myself its no different then what they do while they are playing lol. Otherwise I am convinced someone would think I should be committed! Good luck with everything!

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