Overwhelmed mama

the ex wife

I have been feeling very overwhelmed lately. Usually I embrace being a hot mess and all the chaos that envelopes my house and my life but not lately. I have a husband who works midnights and who has worked the last 10 nights in a row, a son who refuses to stay in his crib at night and is definitely going through the terrible 2’s a bit early. I have a daughter who’s school is closing so we are currently fighting the Governor’s office about that, and having to prepare to send her to her district school is ridiculously overwhelming. Not to mention my own full time job in the field of social work. I help kids every day and am worn out enough without the added stress of the kids’ issues and my husband never being home at night. I think it’s all weighing me down more so than usual.

I usually strive on the chaos and the fast paced lifestyle but lately I have been dreaming about a vacation like crazy. And if I didn’t mention before the financial stress that has been building up since our rent is about to go up by $100. I want to buy and my husband doesn’t seem to think we’re ready but he’ll bug the crap out of me every week to expand our family with another baby ASAP. I have been feeling so overly emotional lately and all I can attribute it to is the anxiety and feeling of being overwhelmed. I naturally have anxiety so everything that I explained above isn’t exactly helping. It’s hard when I don’t have many people to talk to about all the struggles. I feel like I look like a complainer when really it’s just trying to deal with it all. Most of the friend’s that I do have to talk to about it don’t have nearly the kinds of struggles that I do and it’s incredibly hard to discuss so many problems with people that can’t really understand.

Usually it’s kids, or financial stress, or marital issues, or work related, but not everything all at the same time. I try to prioritize and organize a lot at work and in life so that’s what I am trying to do now. I am trying to get my husband off my back about the new baby topic long enough to figure out what we are doing with our housing situation. Then I figured I would fight for my daughter’s school to stay open as long as I possibly can until we just have to face reality. In the meantime, I will register her for the new school and at least make sure that by the time the first day of school rolls around she has somewhere to go. Absolutely nothing I can do about my career as I chose a very demanding field of social work where you attempt to fix everyone else’s life before your own and you hardly get paid for it. So these are my battles this time around and I’d rather think of this a venting session as opposed to whining. Thanks for listening =)

The Hot Mess Mom

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