Two years ago today I remember waking to the sound of your heartbeat on the monitors next to my bed. Your dad was sleeping soundly on the chair next to us. It had been a restless night, one full of anxiety and anticipation, I knew today I was going to meet you. Every single day since I was a little girl I prayed that god would send me a daughter and here you were ready to come into the world and meet me. It took a while, you did not enter the world until 6:01pm. It was a day of indecision, a little bit of pain, excitement and growing up. Though I was already way past the point of being a child there was something in me that changed when I first heard you cry. In that one instant I became the person I was meant to be, your mom.
These last two years of being your mom have been the best in my life. They have been the hardest, the most trying years, full of tears, questioning myself everyday. They have also been the most rewarding, getting to wake up with your smile everyday and give you kisses at night, watching you discover the world around you. Showing you what your world has to offer and knowing there is so much more to come. I have watched you grow from what we lovingly called a blob to a smart and funny little girl.
I was so excited to make it to your first birthday. It felt like such an accomplishment for both of us. We made it through the first year with all ten fingers and toes in tacked! This one feels a little different. This year I have had the privilege to watch you grow and see you change. Wow, you have grown in so many ways this last year I can barely keep track.
Last year you could walk, kind of, this year you can run.
Last year you could babble, this year you speak. You can count, perform your ABC’s, even if only through H and say, “Love you Mommy” the three most beautiful words I have ever heard.
Last year you mostly held and walked around with your toys, this year you pretend with your toys. There is nothing sweeter than a plastic cupcake from my girls kitchen.
Last year you needed me to hold you, to help you do pretty much everything. This year you are so independent. You can do everything yourself and while it breaks my heart a bit it also makes it swell with more pride than you can imagine.
I will always be here to hold you when you need it. When you wake from nightmares, I will be there. When you fall and scrape your knee, I will be there. Even when you just need one more hug, I will be there. If anyone ever tries to hurt you I can unleash 7 kinds of crazy, don’t you worry, mommy has got this! ;). Never ever doubt that I will be there.
You have made life so much richer than your dad and I ever thought possible. While life can be a challenge, it is one that we thank god for everyday. We only hope we are up to the task. Thank you for bringing light, fun, crazy, love into our world. Thank you for making us a family. We cannot tell you what a true privilege it is to be your parents.
Always remember, there is time for one more dance.
Always remember, please and thank you go a long way.
Always remember to have courage and be kind.
Always remember you are special and just how god intend you to be, never question that.
Always remember we are here for you. No matter what, you can always come to us, we will never turn you away.
Always remember I love you more than all the stars in the sky, I love you to the moon and back.
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