I am having a difficult time with the idea of having a 3rd child. My husband wants baby number 3 so very badly and I thought I did too. However, lately I have been on the fence and to be completely honest, I feel more like I want to stay with 2 kids. I will be 30 this year; my daughter is almost 8 and my son is almost 2. I can appreciate all ages having children and I firmly believe that you are as young as you feel. If you want to have kids into your 30’s and 40’s that is completely a personal decision, however I had my daughter at a young age so I got really used to the idea of being a young parent. Then my son came along at age 28 and I was pretty sure that I was done having kids. I had one boy and one girl before I was 30 years old, I thought that was perfect. There are pros and cons to having a 3rd child but I just can’t get past all the cons.
My son is entering the terrible 2’s and I can’t possibly imagine throwing another baby into this crazy mix that is my household. Things are so chaotic as it is, I just don’t think it’s practical.
And speaking of practical, that brings me to the point about sleeping arrangements….both my son and my daughter had their own room right from birth. I would expect the same for the 3rd baby. My daughter is old enough that it would be unfair to have her share a room with her 2 year old brother and to put a baby in my son’s room would completely disrupt his routine. It would take forever to get him to sleep at night, especially with a crying baby in there. The only realistic solution would be to get another bedroom which would make 4 and that is definitely not practical. Right now, we are in a decent size 3 bedroom villa/townhouse and it seems to rent something with 4 bedrooms is nearly impossible, unless your a millionaire. To buy a house with 4 bedrooms is highly unlikely as well, seeing as how we live in Palm Beach County and real estate is ridiculously over priced. Anything within our price range, in a good area, chances are, is a 3 bedroom. With that said I don’t ever foresee us having enough space for baby number 3.
Also, it’s more of a financial burden, for sure. Right now, my husband works midnights which is really hard, but works for us because we get to save the $1000 per month that it would cost for daycare, because he’s home during the day. I can’t wait for the time that my son goes to a preschool program or some kind of daycare, so my husband can go back to working daytime and I can have him home at night. If we have another baby that’s another 2-4 years from now of having to spend every night by myself.
On a less selfish note, more kids means bigger family for the future, more people for holidays functions and dinners, and more kids to take care of us when we get old. Baby’s bring such joy and love to a home but I am not as much a dreamer as my husband; along with joy and love comes stress, financial hardship, and more dysfunction. I have been thinking lately that in another 4 or 5 years, our daughter will be old enough to stay at home with my son long enough for me to go to the store by myself or my husband and I to actually go out on a date again….once again, another baby will add another 3 years or so onto that already long amount of time.
I will admit that this whole thing can be stemming from the fact the we have been going through a rough time with our son lately. He has been climbing out of his crib and getting out every morning at 5am to come in our bed. His terrible 2’s behaviors has been more than I can handle these days and the thought of going through this again is mind numbing. Sometimes I get sad thinking that I am done having kids but the cold hard truth is that we will probably never have a house big enough for 3 kids to each have their own rooms; and with the weird age difference it would be difficult for any of them to share a room. Regardless of the added stress, financial burden, more years of being alone at night, and never having another date night again….if we actually had the space for another baby I can say that I would consider it a lot more.
If anyone reading this has ever gone through the debate of 2 kids vs. 3, your opinions are definitely welcomed =)
The Hot Mess Mom
This post was first published July 28th, 2011
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