To know or Not to know: Baby’s Gender

I went back and forth on this issue for weeks, heck even months. I know a lot of pregnant women right now and NONE of them were finding out the gender of their new babies. Seriously, out of 7 people 5 were not. It boggled my mind. I also decided that maybe I should not find out. Maybe it would be fun, maybe I would not go insane with the lack of planning I would be able to do.

For some reason, I thought that not finding out the gender of our baby would make me a better person, prove my patience or that I could, in fact, let go of a little control. Then the holidays happened. Everyone asked and we were not far enough along yet to know so here was 99% of the conversations:

Them: So do we know yet, boy or girl??

Me: Umm, no we are not far enough along yet.

Them: But you’re going to find out asap right??

Me: I don’t know. I mean it would be kind of fun to have the surprise.

Them: (silence and a blank stare)

Me: I mean we have an appointment for the ultrasound where they can tell us in January.

Them: (Look of relief) Oh, well, good. I cannot wait to find out!!!

It was so strange every person I came into contact with had an opinion and made me feel like there was no way I would be able to last. The pressure to find out from friends and family alone started to feel suffocating.

After the holidays were over and I was doing the lists that every woman does for the new year. Things to clean, things to organize, where would we put the new gifts, work out schedules, school schedules, the list goes on and on. I suddenly realized that I was pregnant and a new baby would be here in 5 short months.

Now, hear me out on this. Yes, of course, I knew I was pregnant and YES of course I realized and had thought about where the new baby would be housed once it came into the world but the whole thing seemed very far away. I didn’t really plan like I did with my first one. I did not have a list of things we already had or would need to replace. And suddenly the entire house looked like a tornado had just swept through. I started to panic. We are talking full blown, breathe in a brown paper bag, panic attack!

My husband and I sat down and discussed it, would we like to know. Me: Ehhh, Him: Yes! He kept telling me it would make him feel better and he knew my anxiety would be ten fold if I did not know if the baby was a boy or girl. I battled back and forth with it. In the end, I decided for sanity and our families sake it was probably better to just find out. But now I was faced with a new problem. How to find out…

There are a number of ways you can find out or announce it.

  1. Let the doctor tell you. This is honestly the easiest, most straightforward way. You will have an ultrasound and unless the baby is being super difficult, you should be able to be told right then and there. This way my husbands choice. He is not a frilly person and liked just knowing; total opposite of me.
  2. A gender reveal is another great way to do it. This was my choice, I wanted to have a big party and have all of our friends and local family over and do it big. Pink and blue decorations, games, the whole nine yards. I figured since this is number 2 and we most likely will not be having a big baby shower this would be a fun way to celebrate the baby.
  3. Third is somewhere in between, a fun announcement. You find a simple way at a small dinner or lunch to announce the gender. It is still a surprise to you and everyone else (well all but one usually) and it is fun and more low key than the big party. This is what we ended up going with.

On my husbands birthday, I planned a surprise dinner for him and had just 3 couples over. Our closest friends and their kids and my parents. We FaceTimed my husband’s parents in and did the reveal in a cute way.
Finding out Baby's Gender - The big revealThe ultrasound tech wrote down the gender and stuck it in an envelope. I gave that envelope to my best friend and she put together a piñata with either blue or pink glitter and confetti in it and put it in a birthday bag. That night we pulled it open with our 2-year-old daughter. It was very cute. Everyone stood around taking video and pictures and it made the reveal extra special.

Soooo…after months and months of wondering, guessing, playing silly games to find out. We all were betting on boy! Which of course means – We are having a GIRL! Our second girl and we could not be more excited. I always wanted to have a sister growing up. I got two amazing ones later in life but not growing up. We cannot wait to see how our girls get along. My poor husband is now WAY outnumbered, four to one if you count our fur baby. Finding out babies gender - piñataIn the end, just do what feels right to you. If you want to find out do, if you don’t, good luck and stay strong!


Kristin, The Perfectionist Mom

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