The last year of my life has been full of ups and downs. We have two beautiful girls both of whom are funny, sweet, sassy and very active. Our younger daughter, she is 2 1/2 right now, has had some challenges. We have dealt with developmental delays, major growth problems, eating problems, allergies, many medical tests etc…she has had her fair share of hurdles to jump over in her young life.
Most of which we are coming out on the other side of. Others we have finally figured out how to deal with and now we feel like we have our feet underneath us. We are moving forward. It has been challenging and it has taken a small army to get us here but I think I can quietly and safely say we are finally, finally here. Just over the Christmas holiday we had a scare where she was sick. It was just a cold but there was breathing treatments, food strikes, no sleep, high fevers, etc, but we knew what to do. There was no panic like before. We were good. To me that was a sign. We, as a family unit, are finally good.
During the last two years I made a misstep which I think 99% of mothers probably make, I forgot myself entirely. I totally forgot I existed. Yes, it was the time to put my daughter first. She was the center of my universe. There was rarely a week where there was not one or more doctors appointments. We still have weekly therapy appointments but they come to our home, it is now routine.
But while I was so concerned about our youngest, the rest of our family still needed me. So I pressed on with them. Kept my mind on our other daughter, of course, the other most important person. My husband, needed me too.
While he is capable of taking care of himself, I still made dinners, cleaned the house, paid all the bills, kept our schedules. He relies on me to keep the family running. In doing all of those things, I totally forgot I existed. Stress throughout the entire house went up, everything that was in motion seemed to stop.
The house became messy, mail piled up, clutter piled up, the kids clothes and rooms stayed stagnet, we kept eating the same thing each week. Basically we got stuck in a big rut very quickly but none of us really noticed because to us it seemed like moving through each day was like walking through quicksand.
Now, I have woken up. Finally, it took me finding out that I was having medical issues of my own. Issues I was totally unaware of which put me in the hospital to show me that I needed to take care of myself. If I wanted to keep taking care of my family, that is.
My New Challenges
Once I got back on my feet an old “friend” of mine showed its ugly face. At the age of 14, I was diagnosed with endometriosis. We did not know the stage but it runs in my family. The last three generations needed complete hysterectomies by the age of 35. (I’m getting close) When we decided to start having children and struggled; our reproductive specialist did a laparoscopic procedure. We discovered it was much worse than we could have predicted. I am a firm stage 4. All of the pain I was experiencing all of these years was thanks to endo.
Every three years since the age of 26 I have needed surgery to clean out tissue for pain management and cysts. This is year 3 and I am so done with surgery. I just do not want to go through it again. Especially with all of the medial bills we have accumulated due to our daughter. We would rather spend our money on her.
What am I going to do about it?
So I am going to try and see if I can control my endo naturally. I am going to do something I have never fully committed myself to. Changing my lifestyle, diet, and mindset to being endo friendly. It will be a challenge but if there is anyway I can even avoid surgery for an extra year it will be worth it.
Here are some of the steps I am taking in hopes of naturally getting my body to be endo happy.
First and foremost, I truly believe that what you put into your body is what you will get out of it. This is something that I have thought about for a long time. As someone who has been on medication for a lot of my adult life for either pain, depression/anxiety or infertility, I can tell you that meds can make your body do horrible things. Side effects are often not worth the results of the medications.
This year is going to be different. I need to not only take care of myself and change my life but also my families life. I have been mentally asleep for an entire year and then some.
During that time our home, finances, diets, etc have gotten slightly out of control. My husband is the only reason we are still afloat.
We are making changes. We are cleaning up. Cleaning up different parts of our life:
- Our diets
- Our home
- What chemicals we use in our homes
- What chemicals in/on our bodies
- Changing what we put out into the environment.
I thought I would like to share this journey with you. I am hoping that not only will this make me accountable but might also help others struggling with similar challenges.
Over the next few weeks I will be sharing the next steps in each of the topics I just listed above.
Any help would be great. How do you keep yourself accountable during life changes?
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